I wrote a short film based around this Pontiac Aztec where a man is too poor to buy a new car so he drives this, which is also his best friend from college. (Not unlike the Transformers, this car has a personality, except this universe doesn’t have aliens or Michael Bay effects, it’s just Detroit). The main character’s wife is pregnant and she one day asks for ice cream, so homeboy goes and gets it. The wife lives on the east side and her husband knows her ‘brand’ is only available at Honeybee Market, so he has to drive across town to get the cool dessert. On the way home the Aztec goes into “AUTO RESCUE” mode (hence the signs) and the protagonist is completely unable to stop this car from Automatically Rescuing a helpless old woman who fell down her stairs all the way in Ferndale. And the car follows traffic laws! So the Aztec drags our protagonist all the way north and then back East and his wife is all like, “WHERE WERE YOU?!”
The box is now luke-warm cream. The protagonist has to explain that him and the Aztec have been friends since college and he can’t get rid of him (but in all reality just can’t buy a new car). The wife is mad and quite pregnant and AUTO RESCUE sits outside, faithful as always, saving old women who fall down stairs and getting decent gas mileage for a 10+ year old car.
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